Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

                Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Had a very shiny nose

And ‘cause he was so handsome

He fucked all the reindeer does.

All of the other buck reindeer

Were frustrated as could be

So Santa’s Elves would wank them

Out behind the Christmas Tree.

Last year this caused a scandal

Because so many girls and boys

Opened presents on Christmas morning

And found Reindeer Cum on their toys!

A team of horny buck reindeer

Is a danger when they run at large

They sodomized poor old Sam McGee

On the marge of Lake Lebarge! *

A Christmas Eve photographer

Is fortunate to have the rights

To an image of Prancer screwing Vixen

Silhouetted by the Northern Lights.

*Apologies to Robert Service, “The Cremation of Sam McGee”

“Since I left Plumtree, down in Tennessee, that’s the first time I’ve been …”